In short, I don't know what love is right now. Does he still love me? I feel like he's losing his feelings for me. Oh well; I can't do anything right?
Well, if he ever reads this... I'll always love him. Not because he was my first kiss, but because he's always been there when I needed someone. He listens. He takes in what I have to say. He's crazy. He's creative. He's spontaneous like me. He always knows what to say. He's passionate. He's my best friend. I could tell him anything and everything and never feel judged or like I was being childish. He knows me, more than any other guy. He's him. And I love him for that. Not for physical reasons or the fact he was my first kiss. Sure, that might add to it, but I loved him before that. I knew I did....... I could feel it down to my soul. And I still feel it. So strongly.
I love him.
And, even though I cry myself to sleep almost every night, I'll smile just for him. Because he loves my smile. And he thinks I'm strong, so I'll stay strong. I'll fight this battle. And, even if he decides to keep going when the war is over, I'll just watch his back with the same smile. Nothing is going to change how I feel about him. Nothing will.
Love,
Ninja Specialist
